Learn to Love Again
I am a 6'1 Black/White/Portuguese/Native American/Irish Geek that lived in the ghetto and learned to box from Ring One Boxing in New Haven, CT after getting my ass kicked by five or more people on a weekly basis. I am an author, A+ Certified Computer Technician and businessman that own and operate two companies. I have fought my way through this life up to this point, learning as I go and not focusing too hard on mistakes I made. I wouldn't change a thing in my life except love.
I have loved and have been in love. Two separate entities, two separate angles on what most believe is the same emotion. Looking in the mirror I am not the sum of my parts, I am more. Love has a way of changing who you see in that mirror every day. Sometimes you hate what you see, others time you can't help but smile and dream. Dream of the possibilities that you may have found your "Amos" or what it commonly known as a soul mate. That Dream often turns into a nightmare as you realize the truth.
Every relationship ends or so I believe. Deep down I curse humanity and the emotion we call love. Wisdom would have you believe this is the course of life and nothing is predetermined. Our hearts, on the other hand, dictate that the current love is the best you'll ever feel, keep it close.
Conflict causes pain, thus your mind tries to stir within the mess of a storm that is suffering. Love usually never survives the storm. Emotion withdraw, outsiders never seem to understand that it isn't going to be okay. Let me mourn my lost of love and one day I would regain the trust in my heart. For now I am going to bury all memories of happiness and bask in the darkness. It is the only thing that truly understands.
Upright, I take the early steps to recovery. I march on without sync, fumbling back to the floor sometimes. The light is bright at the end of the tunnel, but I am 600 miles away from the end. My only guide is hope. I am hoping that hope doesn't stir me wrong.
Stronger now, each step a hammer on an anvil, striking. I'm at ease, I slowly forgive myself. The light is brighter now, smiling again in what seem like ages ago. Steady, I march to my own drum.
I arrive, my eyes adjusting to the brilliance of the glowing light; waiting to adsorb me. The mending process isn't complete nor am I ready to step into it. I've learned to cherish this darkness. I hear a voice. A female voice. "Hi, my name is..." the voice said. "Take my hand and follow me". I'm unsure. Hesitantly I take her hand and the light engulfs me. "Wait". I said. "What's your name again?"